so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize