I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
