angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
