Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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