are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize