That's when you crack a 10am beer
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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