I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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