its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Randomize
