I must be too annoying 4 u.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
