At least make sure they are 18
Why
Ambien. No doubt about it.
id be glad to
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Randomize
