Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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