The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Randomize
