GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
My vagina is officially offended.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
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