too bad you live with your parents still
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
