well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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