You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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