singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
nutella sex= disaster
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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