At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
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