I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
