I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
