Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
