ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
