It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
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