**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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