well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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