I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
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