this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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