Me too!
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
