Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
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