zippers are such a cool invention
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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