Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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