it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
That's how pantless uber rides happen
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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