If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
