I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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