I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
