He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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