we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
