just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
