i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
