proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Randomize
