He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
