Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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