Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I didn't notice because vodka
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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