Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
