K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
