Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
