That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
