Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
