Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
