I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
