I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
