what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
