nut hugger
More tranny stories later!
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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