I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
