C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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