my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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