I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
