You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
