Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
