never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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