If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
