She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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